At my chair

We are children throughout the course of our life. We are hoped to take certain decisions and forced to accept them as appropriate for us. But what you want is seldom valued, unless you show stubbornness to your wish and firmness to your decision. Life does not move as we want it to, rather the destiny takes us to its own path. People say certain things flee from you for good, but i wonder why does it not apply on my life?? Those beloved to me, are far away from me today. The endeavours so important on which my life was dependant are not fulfilled and i am empty handed today. I am useless and it is apparent with the happenings that hard work has no meaning & existence in my dictionary. 
I know what I do, I calculate the pros and cons
I took the right things for me
I made the decisions on my own
I know the positive pan was heavy
At the brink of clicking on yes
I was interrupted by someone close
That person was pointless to forbade
He was witless in arguing
But i couldn't say no to the one
I had a bombardment in my mind
To say yes and accept was easy
To let it go was not
I fought with myself
I had pain in my soul
I searched for the answer
But alas i was right
& yet I had to say no to my right
So I let go my decision
and accept the order of that one close
& here I am without my desire
Sitting sad and heavy hearted at my chair....