On Teaching

I always thought it to be very dangerous to teach someone younger than your are, but i never realized how horrible it would be in reality. The horror that runs through my veins, the shock that go through my muscles is very painful. The first day my nephew stepped in to be my student was  a kind of awkward and we both seemed to be total strangers as the real relationship has faded. This new teacher-student relationship was horrid enough that we both stared at the books and never said a word. This went on for almost an hour and I was leafing through his books. He was only thinking and thinking and silent and thinking again. Finally I had to break the silence and awarded him with some chapters to learn and take the test next day. The sigh of relief when he was gone, was like i am relieved of some heavy burden. 

And the next day was the test, so he came in on time and we exchanged the glances of that strange and ambiguous teacher-student relation. He was again in front of me for the pain that I had to bear because of my "sister" as she had requested me for the 10th time.Why I couldn't said no is totally another part of the story. So coming back to the main theme, that day I had to compile a test and examine my nephew's aptitude. Believe me folks I was blank and blind to the books, I did not know the pattern but still I tried and threw 3 questions at him. He completed his test and i took the stop watch to manage the time frame given to him. when he was writing I read all the answers to those questions and the awkwardness continued. Finally he completed the test and I checked it and told him that he has done fine and thank to Lord that awkward look broke and we were relieved once again.

Seriously people whenever I used to abuse my teachers I never thought of the pain they have been going through, but since Friday I am continuously saluting them for their courage and wishing that my teacher role of life end soon. The fun thing I pray everyday that the kid doesn't show up so that I stay relaxed without the shocks and horror of performing as a teacher.

Gone With The Wind-The Street Cricket

I still relish the time when our neighbourhood was the most amazing of all. we knew everyone, we knew what is happening in our friends's life and all the kids in the neighbour hood were friends. Even if the parents fought for some goofy reasons still the children had no effect of their fights upon the friendships. the knots were powerful and strong, the self entertainment was playing together and considering and trusting and enjoying upon and with each other. how times change with the blink of our eyes and we are only left to record and save them in our brain. 
Today when i was taking a walk on my street i felt too much lonely in a car crowded neighbourhood. lots of cars on the street but no single person seen. the next generation growing up here is not as "childlike" as we used to be. i am very surprised with their diplomatic  talk and false friendships with each other. why are they not pure kids, why is it a lot of poison in in them, why cant they play as friends and not rivals with each other. they fight like trained dogs and cocks, they scream like hooligans and they don't seemed mannered as they are brought up in orphanages and not at "expensive+ sophisticated" schools.
There was a time when we all used to play cricket on the street every Saturday night. our parents scolded us for being up whole night and we get frightened of their tempers. It was a time of happy moments when winning the match against the rival team from street next to us was the greatest pleasure of all. we all used to wait the whole week to get the non stop cricket from 6P.M Saturday to 10 P.M Sunday. the only aim of life was to beat them every match. the invention of 7 overs cricket game,  the discovery of talent among our buddies. the rivalry used to last till Monday and as soon as the next Saturday approach a new game plan is set for a novel 1 innings match. our mothers and sisters and younger siblings who could not be added in the teams were our audiences and their appreciation was the greatest gift of all. the screams we made like bursting the tonsils, the hues our audiences raise when some one points out some cheating. i miss that time very much. now it seems like an oscar winner movie that exist in the black & white version and nobody wants to see it. the flashbacks are haunting me very day, in every dream, every time i take a walk the street hammers my head to come back, bring back the same fun. the same "us" back on the track, our audience who is gone and restricted to the boring TV channels. I am waiting for a courageous angel to drag out all the lovely players of our team out of their homes on to the street, which was once their beloved because they have forgotten her but she is still in love with them.

At my chair

We are children throughout the course of our life. We are hoped to take certain decisions and forced to accept them as appropriate for us. But what you want is seldom valued, unless you show stubbornness to your wish and firmness to your decision. Life does not move as we want it to, rather the destiny takes us to its own path. People say certain things flee from you for good, but i wonder why does it not apply on my life?? Those beloved to me, are far away from me today. The endeavours so important on which my life was dependant are not fulfilled and i am empty handed today. I am useless and it is apparent with the happenings that hard work has no meaning & existence in my dictionary. 
I know what I do, I calculate the pros and cons
I took the right things for me
I made the decisions on my own
I know the positive pan was heavy
At the brink of clicking on yes
I was interrupted by someone close
That person was pointless to forbade
He was witless in arguing
But i couldn't say no to the one
I had a bombardment in my mind
To say yes and accept was easy
To let it go was not
I fought with myself
I had pain in my soul
I searched for the answer
But alas i was right
& yet I had to say no to my right
So I let go my decision
and accept the order of that one close
& here I am without my desire
Sitting sad and heavy hearted at my chair....